Tag Archives: despair

When Family and Friends Let You Down

When family and friends let you down

I have been reading posts and articles on Facebook and elsewhere recently where people felt letdown, betrayed or rejected by those they trusted. These people were family, friends or people in positions of authority. In one case I read the betrayal lead to the death of comrades. These events can lead to deep emotional scarring which is still evident many years or decades later.

You may experience the emotions of betrayal, rejection, grief, compassion, forgiveness, despair and renewal in your life. Consider using essential oils to help you process your feelings when you do.

BETRAYAL
Betrayal can bring up feelings of loss of trust in yourself and others, anger at letting yourself be betrayed and not allowing yourself to feel vulnerable again.

Essential Oils
Palmarosa (Cymbopogon martini) can ease feelings of betrayal and allow you to forgive the betrayer and yourself for being betrayed.

Rose (Rosa damascena) can help you forgive yourself and the betrayer and open your heart so you can learn to trust again.

Jasmine (Jasminum grandiflorum) relieves the emotional pain of betrayal and promotes trust in yourself and others.

REJECTION
We have all felt the sting of rejection whether this is a rejection of us personally or our ideas, art, the people we associate with or the way we live our lives it hurts.

Essential Oils
Pine (Pinus sylvestris) can be used to restore self-confidence and increase low self-esteem that you may feel when rejected.

Rose (Rosa damascena) restores a sense of security and well-being especially if you have suffered rejection, loss or abuse.

Ylang Ylang (Cananga odorata var. genuina) helps ease and deal with the pain of rejection and the fear of it happening again.

GRIEF
We all grieve whether for the loss of a person, pet, job, home or something important to us. This sense of loss can bring up feelings of anxiety, fear, sadness, guilt, anger, blame, regret, worthlessness, stress and depression.

Essential oils
Cedarwood (Cedrus atlantica) gives you the courage and strength to hold firm in the midst of crisis and know that you will get through this.

Chamomile Roman (Chamaemelum nobile) helps you to feel at peace with the way you are feeling and soothes your feelings of being abandoned by the one you loved.

Cypress (Cupressus sempervirens) is calming at times of transition and when difficult changes need to be made. She helps you to move on in your life.

Lavender (Lavandula angustafolia) reminds you to take time to nurture yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually during this time. She allows you to forgive yourself for things left unsaid or undone.

Myrrh (Commiphora molmol) brings a sense of inner stillness and peace that helps to ease your sorrow and grief and any feelings of loss and rejection.

COMPASSION
There are many ways you can share compassion in our lives both for yourself and others. You may notice someone struggling to do something and offer to help or you may make a wrong decision or trust the wrong person and instead of beating yourself up, you feel compassion for yourself by realising you have learnt from the experience and will do better next time.

Essential oils
Benzoin (Styrax benzoin) helps you have compassion and love for yourself both present and past.

Cypress (Cupressus sempervirens) eases feelings of loss particularly of a person and enhances feelings of compassion.

Rose (Rosa damascena) is the ultimate oil of compassion. She helps you to forgive and trust others as well as yourself and opens your heart to feel love again.

Spikenard (Nardostachys jatamansi) allows you to show compassion and love to others without becoming overwhelmed by their suffering or loss.

DESPAIR
You may have moments of despair when you feel abandoned or misunderstood. These feelings can cause you pain both physical and emotional. They may also cause you to doubt yourself and your place in the world along with your self-worth.

Essential oils
Bergamot (Citrus bergamia) helps to soothe your feelings of anger, frustration and blame. She helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel and bring a sense of joy back into your life. Don’t apply to skin that will be exposed to sunlight within 24 hours as bergamot is phototoxic.

Grapefruit (Citrus paradisi) helps dispel the anger, frustration and blame while bringing a sense of optimism that you will get through this time of despair.

Kunzea (Kunzea ambigua) helps to release the pain that lead to your despair and instils a feeling of safety.

Lemon (Citrus limonum) helps clear your mind so that you can think clearly while uplifting you mentally and emotionally. Don’t apply to skin that will be exposed to sunlight within 24 hours as lemon is phototoxic.

Pine (Pinus sylvestris) can be used to restore self-confidence and increase low self-esteem that feelings of despair can induce.

RENEWAL
We go through many beginnings and endings in our lifetime. Starting and ending projects, bringing up children and letting them go to begin their own lives as adults, changing life circumstances, careers, etc. Sometimes it is easy to let go and begin again and sometimes it is difficult to accept change and move on.

Essential oils
Cedarwood (Cedrus atlantica) gives you the courage to move forward and start again.

German Chamomile (Matricaria recutita) helps you let go of old ideas, beliefs, emotions, and habits that you no longer need.

Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens) brings a sense of renewal and is the perfect oil for bringing balance to all aspects of your life, physical, mental, spiritual and emotional.

Sweet fennel (Foeniculum vulgare dulce) is helpful if you feel that there are aspects of the situation that you need to bring to a close so that you can begin afresh.

USING THE OILS
If you are going through any of these emotional experiences at the moment and would like to use essential oils to help you through it, choose one to three oils that seem to resonate with how you are feeling and either use the oils singly or in a blend as follows.

Use 4 to 5 drops in 10mls of vegetable oil in a roll-on or massage blend. 4 to 5 drops in a diffuser or add 4 to 6 drops to some full fat milk and add to your bath. The milk allows the oils to disperse in the water rather than sit on top.