Monthly Archives: May 2018

Mother Issues? These Essential Oils May Help

Mother issues?

Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed.
You have not hidden it.
That is your greatest gift to me.
Alice Walker

This Sunday is Mother’s Day, a day that can bring up many issues between mothers and their children. You see many ads with loving mothers and gifts that they will appreciate receiving but what if this is not your image or experience of a mother?

Everybody has or had a mum and her presence or non-presence can have a powerful influence on your life and how you choose to lead it.

mother and child

You may have not one mum but two due to a parental divorce or your mother dying early in your life and you now have a stepmother. You may be the child of a gay relationship where you may have different or conflicting feelings about both mothers. It may also be that your grandmother or aunt has stepped in and taken the place of your mother.

You may decide you want to be just like your mother or mother figure, or nothing like her. You may grow up to be a perfectionist because you felt the only way you could get her attention or approval was to do everything perfectly. You may have been abandoned by your mother either physically or emotionally leading to difficulty in trusting others.

You may also have mixed feelings, at times feeling great affection and at other times disdain, resentment or hatred for the woman. You may also feel disloyal if you care more for your stepmother, grandmother, aunt or whoever is the mother figure in your life rather than your biological mother.

mother and son

Your mother may have been overprotective always telling you to rug up more before you went outside or always checking on how you were doing, or pushing you to do better in your studies.

You may also have or had a mum who instilled confidence in you and was there when you needed her. You know and knew without a doubt that she loved you no matter what you did and the mistakes you made and perhaps continue to make. She is all you believe a mother should be.


Your experience and memories of your mum may be entirely different to that of your siblings and can lead to you having a very different perspective and opinion of your mother. You may wonder if you and your sibling/s are talking about the same woman.

mother and daughters

Whatever the case, most mums do or did the best they could. Most mums love their children, although they may not or cannot show it. Sometimes this may be due to illness (as in postnatal depression), they may not have received love or they may have been abused as a child and don’t know how to show love to their own children.


Basil (Ocimum basilicum) can help to relieve the emotional sting of her attacks if your mother is verbally abusive.

Black Pepper (Piper nigrum) is helpful if you are always questioning your own decisions and worrying about whether you have made the right one.

Eucalyptus (Eucalyptus radiata) if you are feeling suffocated by your mother.

Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens) brings a feeling of calm strength allowing you to spend time with your mother without feeling emotionally overwhelmed by her.

Grapefruit (Citrus paradisi) is especially useful if you comfort eat to help deal with your difficult emotions or have perfectionistic tendencies. This oil is photosensitive so don’t use on skin that will be exposed to the sun in the next 12 hours.

Kunzea (Kunzea ambigua) will help you deal with both physical and emotional pain.

Lavender (Lavendula angustifolia) allows you to forgive your mother for the hurt she may have caused you.

Palmarosa (Cymbopogon martini) can help heal feelings of betrayal, abandonment or not being loved by your mother.

Pine (Pinus sylvestris) can help you deal with issues of low self-esteem.

Rose (Rosa damascena) is one of the best oils to use when you are dealing with issues of abuse, lack of trust, emotional coldness, rejection or loss. This is a very expensive oil but you can buy it in 3% jojoba which is perfect for working on a subtle or emotional level. Apply to your heart and solar plexus chakras.

Rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis) helps you find creative ways to interact with your mother.

Sandalwood (Santalum album) allows you to contemplate and view your relationship with your mother from a higher perspective

The above oils can be used singly or in a blend of 2 or 3 oils in a vaporizer, personal inhaler, massage, perfume or anointing blend.

For information on dilution click here